So I made some of my own drama last night.
Had a great dinner with my parents and brother. Though my Dad and brother both had a couple of beers, which I thought was strange. I guess I only thought it was strange because I thought they would try to be considerate and not drink around me. I probably would have thought it was weird had they not drank, because I don’t want people to treat me any differently just because I’m no longer drinking … oh well. I don’t care that they did.
My mom is super-nervous all the time. Being with her in public, or even at home, is a little nerve-wracking because she’s got such high anxiety. Surprisingly she was pretty well behaved at dinner – no nervous outbreaks, so I thought things went well.
Then an hour later she calls up and leaves me this voicemail, near tears, that she’s sorry for what she said tonight and that she didn’t intend for it to ‘come out that way.’ I had no idea what she was referring to. So I called her back. It was really nothing – just something we had joked about during dinner, that she thought I had taken offense to – which I hadn’t. We worked it all out and things are fine now, but it’s stuff like this that really makes me sad for my mom. She can’t behave normally. She’s always worked up about something, or anxious, or nervous, or depressed, or crying. She’s never happy, which is so sad. It’s too bad I can’t do more than try to be there for her, except that being there for her drives me crazy sometimes. She’s another one who naturally creates drama but I don’t think she ever realizes it… she is so deep in her drama that she doesn’t seem to know where reality is anymore.
Back to work now.