On Friday evening I was given the opportunity to help a guy in AA. It felt wonderful to be able to help somebody without having any hidden agendas about how this might serve me, or what I might get out of it. I’m just glad somebody was able to help this guy.
On the same evening I found out that some people who I’ve been close with, relapsed. It makes me sad to see people struggle with addiction. Prior to beginning my own recovery I looked at addicts and alcoholics as weak. Little did I know it’s not something that you can fight on your own. I’d equate it to the U.S. attacking Costa Rica – it’s simply not a fair fight. Costa Rica would have to enlist the help of other nations to defend itself, just like I have to enlist the help of others to help myself.
Unfortunately, these people don’t seem to want help, or are too wrapped up in their addictions to accept it. I pray that they do not have to hit another bottom before they come back to the rooms. Alcoholism / Addiction can wreak a lot of havoc on a person and those around them – it’s not pretty.
Tonight I went to another meeting. An NA meeting that really has a lot of good energy. I left the meeting in good spirits, dropped off Jim, and then came home. After arriving home, I ended up having a very hard conversation with somebody that I care a lot about. It’s a conversation that I’ve been dreading. One of those conversations that you know isn’t going to go well, no matter what sort of PR spin you put on it.
And it didn’t go well.
It deals with an issue I touched on a few months back – doing business with friends. This person has been a good friend to me, and I them, for years. I’d like to think that we’ve both benefitted from being in each other’s lives. Unfortunately, we made the mistake of doing some business together, and that business is now coming to an end and we’re faced with some tough decisions.
I have a decision to make, with a couple of options.
Option one has me doing what I believe will give me what I’m owed, what I’ve earned, and what I deserve. But it does not leave the friend happy – and our friendship will end on a bad note.
Option two has me sacrificing what I believe I’m owed, in favor of preserving the friendship.
But I’m afraid the damage has already been done. The conversation was broached and there was no turning back. I had to state my opinion as to how to proceed. The friend was hurt, and now I feel terrible about the way things have played out. Circumstances, events, energy forces, coincidences, etc., have brought us to this point. Some things that we could have avoided, others that we could not have. But here we find ourselves.
I am afraid that just by stating my opinion, I may have already irreperably damaged the relationship. That even if I do sacrifice and go with option two, the friendship may be over.
I want to do the right thing, but I’m not sure what that is. I’ll pray tonight that we can find a compromise that we can both be happy with.