… and I am Somebody male. in my thirties. recovering alcoholic. live in minneapolis. work in progress. gay. serenity please.

Sponsee Number Five’s Suicide

09.17.2007 · Posted in Recovery

Following up on a post from a couple of weeks ago about a potential fifth sponsee

After skipping out on our initial meeting at Vera’s I never saw or heard from him again. I’d actually forgotten about it. After all, people had asked me to sponsor them in the past and done nothing further. Unfortunately, it’s commonplace in the rooms for an addict to not follow through on their commitments.

I got a call on Sunday afternoon from a friend who told me that the would-be sponsee number five had been found dead in his bed at his sober house. He had overdosed. It was unknown whether or not the suicide was intentional or not.

I didn’t know him well and can’t tell you what his demons were, or even, for that matter, what his drug(s) of choice were. All I know is that he was an addict trying to stay clean.

He could have gotten another sponsor over the last couple of weeks and began working the steps; I’m not sure if he did or not. I don’t know that I could have helped him, or for that matter, whether the 12 steps could have helped him.

Jails, institutions or death. That’s what NA tells us are our options if we do not recover. Goodbye, would-be sponsee number five. May the afterlife bring you what you were unable to find here.

6 Responses to “Sponsee Number Five’s Suicide”

  1. Dan~

    Sorry to hear about this…

    ~A

  2. Unfortunately, this happens every day. Thanks for the reminder.

  3. it’s too bad, but this happens way too often.

    In America, just like in Canada, most recovery (even AA, it’s in their basic commands) is based on faith in god or in a god. I’ve known a lot of addicts who just do not believe in god.. who are atheists.. and going to meetings is like going to f****** church. It does no good to them at all.

    Some are left behind..

    It sucks, but recovery groups are VERY far from perfect. it works for a few.. and it’s a good thing it worked for you Dan. But it’s not for all. I know.

  4. Well…..its happened to all of us. At least you made the effort…did what you said you would do….and thats the important item here.

    keeping true to yourself and your statements to other folks.

    tommy

  5. I am sorry to read this. I’ve been through several deaths this summer in NA–and those were folks under age 30, with kids, making it even more tragic. Alas, this is the end of the road for so many of us. Most of us don’t go beyond the end of that road in this life.

    We members do what we can for others. I have agreed to sponsor seven people at present, and only one is availing herself of my help. There are many reasons why someone cannot benefit from the program at any given point in his or her life, and it is not a question of fault. I’ve been clean for 23 years, through NA and other 12-step programs, and I have seen them do wonderful work. But they never claim to be for everyone.

    My condolences to you, and my prayers for the would-be sponsee.

    Lisa W.

  6. I’m sorry for your loss. But that’s the nature of sponsees, some get it and some don’t. Sad that an overdose took his life. You can come by my blog and read as well, I am here from Jonathan’s blog.

    Pax
    Jeremy