… and I am Somebody male. in my thirties. recovering alcoholic. live in minneapolis. work in progress. gay. serenity please.

I drink, therefore I am

06.06.2004 · Posted in Recovery

I went to a meeting tonight – Saturday Night Live at the Basilica. It’s a great meeting – lots of people, lots of energy. The speaker tonight was Heidi. I thought she was really good. I didn’t really want to go to a meeting, but I made myself – and as is usually the case, it turned out great.

She said a couple of things that really struck me. The first being, “I drink, therefore I am.” It really boils it all down to the alcoholic mindset. When you compare the statement to the original quote – ‘I think, therefore I am,’ it really makes sense. Drinking literally becomes your obsession, holding your thoughts, your being, your self, captive. It rules everything you do – it defines you. The statement really put things into perspective for me.

The second thing she talked about was an analogy she had once heard. She said that drinking is like stepping onto the train tracks. The engine comes first, the caboose last. The engine is what kills you – not the caboose. The concept makes complete sense. Once you have that first drink, you cannot stop, and the more you drink, the sicker you become … but it’s the first drink that gets you, not the last.

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