… and I am Somebody male. in my thirties. recovering alcoholic. live in minneapolis. work in progress. gay. serenity please.

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood

06.02.2004 · Posted in Family

Today started out busy. Busy is good when you don’t want to think, and I didn’t care for thinking today. I spoke with my mom for about 45 minutes. She’s continuing to dramatize. It’s almost like she watched too many episodes of Rescue 911 with William Shatner, where every segment contains a ‘dramatization’ disclaimer, only she chose to ignore that and thought they were filming events in real life. Funny coincidence – she used to work with a guy who was featured on Rescue 911 – he was a cop who, while in pursuit of an assailant, was shot in the family jewels… uh, I mean jewel.

Anyhow, I continued with the ‘uh-huh’s’ and listened. For a short while today I was agonizing over the thought of speaking with her. She’s been very dependant on me lately – much more so than usual, and when I try to end the phone conversations, she suddenly says, “why?” … like I should have hours to spend on the phone all day. Really, I think she’s just paranoid, deluding that I don’t want to talk to her.

But I digress. I was not looking forward talking to her today as I was afraid she would still be losing it. And when she loses it, I tend to lose it. Luckily, she seemed to be somewhat normal (i.e., not crying) so things went okay. I called my sponsor and we went for a walk around Lake Calhoun today. We had about 3 weeks of rain and today was the first sunny day. TONS of eye candy, and I don’t mind candy. The day ended up alright, and I’m still here 🙂

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And once again

06.01.2004 · Posted in Family

… I am going to be an uncle.

I’ve got 2 older half brothers, 2 older half sisters and 1 younger (full) brother. All older siblings are married and have children – 6 nieces and nephews total. I just found out this evening from my mentally ill mother that my younger brother got his ex-girlfriend pregnant. It’s the same story with every girlfriend he has. My mother becomes embedded in the relationship and will speak praise on high of the girlfriend, always commenting that she, “hopes he holds onto this one.” As soon as they break up she changes her attitude to, “well she
wasn’t quite perfect and she wasn’t helping to promote a healthy lifestyle by doing all of his cleaning and laundry for him.”

Well, this last one, who was ‘studying to be an orthodontist,’ and who my mother was desperately trying to convince my brother to marry (presumably for some financial stability) has planted a firm grip on my brother’s life, and my mother’s, and my family’s.

Apparently they broke up. Then the girlfriend informed my brother that she was pregnant with his child. My brother wanted her to have an abortion. She wouldn’t hear of it.

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The Opposite Sex: Rene’s Story

05.31.2004 · Posted in Entertainment

I’m up late again all excited about this blogging. Sure I’d heard about blogs some time ago, but it never really interested me – why would I want to publish my thoughts for everyone to see?! First all of the technical aspects interested me – I can list my blog on other sites, provide a feed, host it on my own server, etc. Then I was at Vera’s with Chris tonight telling him about it and he came up with the idea of creating a community out of it. Wowzers – that’s perfect! Especially since I named it www.andiamsomebody.com…

Well, maybe I should explain the name. When I checked myself into treatment at 9:00pm on Feb 13, 2004 (the day before Valentine’s day on Friday the 13th of all days!), I went to my first meeting. It was the Reflections Meeting. It’s a group-run check-in meeting. There’s a structure to it, some traditions like Positive Strokes and Fuzzy Wuzzy, and then you end with checking in and reciting at least three affirmations. The affirmations are repeated by the group after you state them, and then you end with, “And I am somebody,” to which the group responds, “and you are somebody.

Anyhow, this was my first group meeting and it still hadn’t sunk in that I was in treatment! … and here we were saying silly things like, “and I am somebody.” It stuck, and thus the site is born some three and a half months (of sobriety) later.

We’ll see if the community evolves, but for now it’s just me.

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How you say?

05.30.2004 · Posted in Entertainment

Okay, according to the bio page on IMDB.com Jake’s last name is in fact pronounced like Jill, not Gill. Thank you very much.

Anyhow, I’ve gotton over my resentment for wasting the $8 on the film, as I’ve developed a much deeper appreciation for Mister Gyllenhall. He’s quite the hottie – even Dustin Hoffman can’t keep his hands off him!

jake_and_dustin.gif

Sweet dreams to me.

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The Day After Tomorrow

05.29.2004 · Posted in Entertainment

I went to the Minnesota Gopher State Roundup this evening – a big AA convention at the Sheritan (formerly Radisson South) at 494 and 100. It continues again tomorrow and goes through Sunday. It was okay. I got there late (phone didn’t wake me from my nap) and ended up having to stand at the back of the room to listen to the speaker. She was pretty cool. 30+ years of sobriety and still cracking jokes that made me laugh. I particularly liked the one about how acrobatic and flexible she became after her escapades in an old Ford convertible. She was about 65 – 70 years old and I love dirty old women 😉 Then we went around to the various hospitality suites where I discovered they were broadcasting the speaker. Wish I would have known I could have sat down with cookies, diet coke and the company of fellow alchies while laughing – it would have made for a much better time. Walked around for a while. Saw some friends I’ve made from treatment and meetings. Saw several hotties – which, as it turns out, is becoming quite the added bonus to sobriety. It’s not all just meetings, coffee and cigarettes – there are actually HOT men to be met! And the straight ones – they’re all so sensitive and real. There’s nothing sexier than a hot, sensitive, spiritual, straight man.

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Oh, Christ. I’m here.

05.28.2004 · Posted in Recovery

I’ve fallen through that threshold I thought I’d never cross – I’ve created a blog. Good gawd. It’s really my sponsor’s fault. He told me I should begin journaling. He told me I should get a pretty red-velvet covered journal and begin writing. But no. I had to do it my way. I told him I’d rather type than write. So here I am. Hope you’re all happy.