… and I am Somebody male. in my thirties. recovering alcoholic. live in minneapolis. work in progress. gay. serenity please.

You can’t always get what you want

12.27.2005 · Posted in Autobiographical

The Rolling Stones and a similar Hole song keep running through my head.

This past week has been okay. And by “okay” I mean it sorta sucked. There were some good things – I spent time with my family, enjoyed watching my nieces and nephews open their gifts, had good conversations with other relatives, and went to a friend’s annual sober Christmas event.

But about the sucky part. Since the day I stepped out of treatment nearly 2 years ago, it’s been a goal of mine to open a sober living home – a safe living environment for a group of recovering people. Generally people move into one after treatment or completion of a halfway house program. Others elect to live there just because they’re a good option for affordable housing and a good source of support for those in recovery. The concept has always clicked with me as being something spectacular. There’s a certain degree of magic that emanates from sober houses that you just don’t find elsewhere. They’re a place where a group of people in similar situations try to help each other out.

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Progressive, yet drunken, Mayor of Duluth

12.18.2005 · Posted in In the news, Opinions, Recovery

If you live within driving distance of Duluth, it makes a great weekend getaway destination. Canal Park is a quaint neighborhood containing restaurants, bars, boutiques and parks. Downtown is a short jaunt up the hill. Mansions line the road to the north, lakeshore properties along the largest lake in the world.

Duluth is a relatively small populous, ranking 137 in the Nelson Media Market index, but their politics are quite progressive. Case in point: it was the first city in Minnesota to ban indoor smoking in bars and restaurants.

Herb Bergson has been the mayor of Duluth since he was elected in 2003. He made headlines this summer when he became the first mayor of Duluth to walk in the city’s gay pride parade. Many of us in the Minneapolis area took note of our smaller city sibling to the north – looking up at them with pride.

Then came the firing of the city’s top administrator, Mark Winson. Bergson taped a pink slip to Winson’s door and then left town. Winson had served the city for many years. The dismissal was made public shortly afterwards and many believed Bergson had exercised poor form.

Bergson is most recently in the news for personal reasons – a drunk driving accident in which he crashed his vehicle into a a highway median barrier. His blood alcohol content was measured 30 minutes later and registered at 0.16.

He claims that he was headed to Eau Claire for the night on his way to Chicago. Driving from Duluth to Eau Claire is a 154 mile drive, estimated at 4 hours by Google.

Bergson has publicly apologized for his behavior and vowed to never drink again. He denies that he has a problem with alcohol.

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Mary is coming

12.16.2005 · Posted in Home / Minneapolis


It’s official – Minneapolis is getting a Hamburger Mary’s! I’ve never actually been to a HMs before – just heard about them. My friend Justin actually works at the one in Vegas and he’s loving it. I had signed up to receive updates on the restaurant many moons ago and had forgotten about it until this email came in the other day.

Hi Honey,

I am sorry I haven’t written sooner, but I’ve been working my little tail off looking for the most absolutely fabulous space to have Hamburger Mary’s in Minneapolis! I won’t rest until the deal is done, and don’t worry – you’ll be the fist to know as soon as I’ve signed the dotted line!

I can’t wait to see you in my restaurant. The burgers and fries are outta this world – and don’t worry if you’re a vegetarian or a vegan, I’ve got great food for you too!

But I’ve been saving the best for last. Hamburger Mary’s Mpls isn’t just a restaurant – we are also Bar Stiletto where you’ll encounter the best and most diverse entertainment in the Twin Cities! And don’t even get me started on cocktails – delish, Honey, just divine!

Gotta run now, Sweetie – talk to you soon!!


Pay It Forward

12.15.2005 · Posted in Entertainment

Pay It Forward makes me cry every time I see it. Okay, so I just saw it for the second time – but this makes twice.

The concept is simple. Do something nice for three people. Eventually it’ll come full circle and somebody will do something nice for you.

I won’t tell you why it makes me cry, because I don’t want to ruin it for you. However, the other really sad part about the movie is that it presumes, and I think correctly, that it’s a foreign concept for people to do something nice for anyone. That’s the sad truth. So do something nice for someone. Not because you want something in return, just make a habbit of it, and you’ll see positive change in your life.


12.14.2005 · Posted in Family

I’m happy to report that my father is doing well today. Though they’re still not certain what actually caused his “cardiac incidents” they have inserted a permanent pacemaker / defribulator to address the symptom – his heart stopping. Thank you all for the kind words through this. I was really taken aback from all of the comments my last post received – it’s been my most popuplar post yet! I’ll likely be bringing my parents home today or tomorrow.

What really matters

12.11.2005 · Posted in Family

I got out of my Thursday night Men’s Big Book Study meeting in St. Paul and checked my cell phone. 4 missed calls. All from my mother. Mom’s a little OCD, but this was a little out of the ordinary, even for her. Something had to be wrong.

I checked my voicemail. Mom calling. Sounds frazzled. “Call me right away.” Next message is more of the same. The third one I can hear that she’s in a car. “Get to Abbot Northwestern Hospital. It’s your father. Hurry.”

Two months ago my father celebrated his 70th birthday. Something my mother has since told me that he never thought he’d be able to do. He’s had heart problems since he was in his mid fifties. Triple bypass, artery replacements, valve replacement, etc., etc., etc. Thing is, he hasn’t had anything act up in years. In hindsight, we should have been paying closer attention.

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The Metrosexual Movement

12.04.2005 · Posted in Opinions

There’s a social force at work in the world today – some may even call it a conspiracy. It’s only subtly present in urban areas, and likely nonexistant in rural ones. It makes brief appearances in suburbia. It is something we must all take a stand against. Our identities, once hidden, are now being stolen from us!

Brokeback Mountain

Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger claim that Brokeback Mountain is not a gay movie – just a love story (that incedentally involves two men). Bullshit! [Pun intended]. We live in a world that accuses gay people of trying to impress the “Homosexual Agenda” upon children. WTF is the homosexual agenda? Nobody told me. I didn’t get a brochure at the latest Pride parade.

So if a movie is released that depicts two men participating in anal intercourse together, it’s a gay movie. End of story. It cannot be argued. Yeah, sure, you can try to wrap it up and present it as foremost, a love story … it’s only coincidental that the primary characters are both male. In fact, I wish that were the case, and that it were that simple … that people didn’t care what the sex of the characters were. But that’s not the case. This is a gay movie.

And just tonight, I’m sitting at Vera’s – a gay coffee shop in south Minneapolis. There are about 20 gay men here and a handful of women. Then in walks a strapping and handsome young man. He is the epitome of sex appeal. Following him in the door is his date – a woman.

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Keeping up 4th Grade Appearances

12.02.2005 · Posted in Autobiographical

I began my obsession with looks during the summer before 4th grade. I’m not sure what triggered it, but when shopping for school clothes that year, I knew that I had to be very selective about what I picked off the racks at J.C. Penny’s.

My mother took my younger brother and I to Penny’s every summer to pick out clothes for the approaching school year. On special occasions we were allowed to go to the Young Men’s section in Daytons, at the other end of the Burnsville Center. There, you could find Girbaud jeans, and if I was really lucky, I’d get a pair.

But the majority of the outfits were purchased at Penny’s. This was the year I became smart about my wardrobe. I made sure to buy tops and bottoms that could be matched with many other things so that to the lay person, it would appear as if I was wearing many different outfits, even though I had just outwitted them by changing it up a little.

It was also this year that I began “doing” my hair before school every day. I wanted to look good in front of everyone else. I’d assemble my Bugle Boy outfit of the day and march down to the bathroom to begin prepping my hair. I watched my mother do this every morning and figured that it couldn’t be that difficult.

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Houston GLBT Roundup

11.29.2005 · Posted in Recovery

Jim, Dave, Steve and I all had a fantastic time at the Houston Roundup. They’re so hospitable down in the south!

I met a ton of awesome people. Went to a few workshops. Heard some great speakers. Went out to the clubs one night – that was a little scary. Those Texas boys sure do know what they want at the lite-leather bar. I think it was called The Alley???

I’m kicking myself now. Can you believe I didn’t take one photo the entire trip? I brought my camera with no batteries and never got around to buying any. Grrr – I’m so ashamed! Fortunately, some of the other bloggers were able to snap a few photos.

Scott had this photo:

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