… and I am Somebody male. in my thirties. recovering alcoholic. live in minneapolis. work in progress. gay. serenity please.

Cleaning house

10.31.2004 · Posted in Family

I was somewhat spontaneous yesterday and decided to give my mom a call in the morning to see if she wanted to come over and help me clean. She said yes.

A little bit of background, in case you’re wondering, or if not, that’s fine, I’m going to type it anyhow 😉 … Being around my mom has always been a stressor for me. Not always, but since about 6 – 7 years ago when she had her nervous breakdown. She went from being a strong, sometimes intimidating woman, to the nervous, always-trying-to-fix-other-people-instead-of-herself, scared-to-leave-the-house lady she is today.

Now I love her, but she can drive me nuts, too. It’s hard to see somebody who you’ve always looked to for care become crippled with mental illness. I usually feel like our mother-son relationship roles have been reversed – she comes to me looking for support, and honestly, I’m oftentimes hard-pressed to provide that kind of help.

Anyhow, my roommate and I bought our condo over a year ago and my mother still hadn’t seen it. I decided that yesterday was as good a time as any, so I went down to the burbs, picked her up, and brought her back to the big city. She helped me fold laundry, provided companionship, and finally met my roommate face-to-face. It was a surprisingly good experience. She wasn’t her normal jittery-self – she actually behaved quite normally. It was a pleasant surprise.

I think it’s my involvement in the program that’s allowed me to try and better our relationship. Up until very recently I’ve been hesitant to try to grow our relationship. I’m still going to be cautious, because I am worried what may become of her dependency on me, but I’m willing to give it a try.

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