… and I am Somebody male. in my thirties. recovering alcoholic. live in minneapolis. work in progress. gay. serenity please.

Starting on Thursday

08.17.2004 · Posted in Autobiographical

… I’ll be back in the 9-5 world. Actually, I tend to get to the office fairly early, so it’ll be the 7:30-5 world. I’m trying to get my house cleaned before I return to work. I’ve neglected it, and things are crazy-messy.

I’m also trying to get over to the SBA to talk to them about programs to start a business. I also need to get to the gym, get my driver’s license renewed (it expired 5 months ago!), and buy a new pair of shoes 🙂

I’ve been somewhat restless lately. It seems like I have so much going on right now and I should really try to simplify things, but at the same time, I want to go-go-go. It’s hard to find a balance.

I visited my parents the other day. My Dad was as normal as ever, my mother as crazy as usual. Its so hard to see a person that has cared for you all your life fall apart. I know a lot of people go through this – whatever their parents ail from. I’m having a tough time trying not to let my mother’s craziness affect me … it’s a combination of my own will, and my mother incessantly trying to drag me into her drama.

I’m starting my fourth step tomorrow at some point with my sponsor: “made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” I’ve (obviously) never done this step before, and don’t know a whole lot about it. I do know that it involves making a list of all your defects, like being selfish, judgmental, dishonest, etc.

It’s supposed to be a hard step, and people have been known to relapse during it, as one is susceptible to beating one’s self up over it. I should have probably started it a while back, but my sponsor wanted to hold off because of the job loss situation, and my roommate possibly moving. Don’t want to have too much stress at one time! Now, however, I’m not sure it’s the right time either, being that I’m starting a new job. I guess it’s okay, though – there will always be something going on.

I’m off to the gym and then back to pester my roommate into helping me finish cleaning. Have a great day.

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