… and I am Somebody male. in my thirties. recovering alcoholic. live in minneapolis. work in progress. gay. serenity please.

Business and friends don’t mix

08.20.2005 · Posted in Autobiographical, Friends

Recently a friend approached me about doing a project for him. I was honored that he thought enough of me to ask. Shortly after we sat down together, outlined the work that needed to be done, and kicked off the project. A few days later I got an email saying that he wanted to pull out and cancel.

I was perplexed, stunned, shocked – it was the last thing I thougth would happen. I asked him about it and he said that I offended him. I feel very badly about this, but don’t know how else I could have handled the situation.

Losing the project was a bummer, because I was really looking forward to it for the fun factor more than anything. But more importantly, I feel like the friendship has suffered.

I guess it’s sort of like living with someone. You may be the best of friends, but after moving in together you find that you really aren’t a good match.

Or when you’re friends with somebody and one night you have sex. The entire dynamic around your relationship with that friend and mutual friends changes.

Well, shit happens. I guess all I can do at this point is know that I apologized and continue to try to be a good friend.

11 Responses to “Business and friends don’t mix”

  1. All you can ever do is the best you can do, Sparkles. Sounds like you tried to handle things the right way.

  2. 8 out of ten comments I make on your post are not successful.

  3. Not sure what you did to offend him but… couldn’t he have given it a second chance?

  4. LOL @ TexanDave! That’s funny shit.

  5. Re the having sex with friends comment – think most of us would’ve done it one time or another. I guess the more you spend time with them, the greater is the risk that it’d happen. I’m still really good friends with my “mistakes”. In some ways, we’ve become even closer because of the sex – but that is not to say I think it’s a good idea. For one, my bf gets insanely jealous at the mere reference to that little bit of “history”.

  6. Might I inquire just *how* exactly you offended him?

  7. This is a tricky one… I’ve done design work for a few friends, and first of all, the money part can be messy. I invariably feel guilty charging friends money for my services, but I end up spending more time on their projects than my regular clients, since I care more about them, so my other projects suffer. Then… if they’re not happy with something, it causes friction. And in construction, there’s always SOMEthing that goes wrong.

  8. Anonymous says:

    whenever I have conflict, [after my first “fuck you” addict response] I try to look for my part in it.

  9. Never do work for a ‘friend.’ It never works; I got screwed last Fall and wrote this post about my contempt for getting roped into helping friends. Never again.

    http://troublespots.blogspot.com/2004/09/freelance-hell.html

  10. That really bites. I know the feeling; just today I got a call from a friend for whom I’d done free design work for a major 3 room remodel, under the understanding (non-contractual, of course…) that I’d be doing the work and providing the product. She said “Thanks SO MUCH for the help!! I love it, and I’m going to have _____ follow the plans to a ‘T’ when he does the work”

    AAAAAUUUGGHHH!!!! All that time/work down the tubes.

    Friends/Business are not good to mix.

  11. I have never mixed friends and work before, but the comparision of mixing friends and sex it’s true…

    I was lucky when that happened and we are still good friends… my best friend… I am lucky to have a friend like that 🙂

    But I know that not allways is like that…