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October 31, 2004
Cleaning house
I was somewhat spontaneous yesterday and decided to give my mom a call in the morning to see if she wanted to come over and help me clean. She said yes.
A little bit of background, in case you're wondering, or if not, that's fine, I'm going to type it anyhow ;-) ... Being around my mom has always been a stressor for me. Not always, but since about 6 - 7 years ago when she had her nervous breakdown. She went from being a strong, sometimes intimidating woman, to the nervous, always-trying-to-fix-other-people-instead-of-herself, scared-to-leave-the-house lady she is today.
Now I love her, but she can drive me nuts, too. It's hard to see somebody who you've always looked to for care become crippled with mental illness. I usually feel like our mother-son relationship roles have been reversed - she comes to me looking for support, and honestly, I'm oftentimes hard-pressed to provide that kind of help.
Anyhow, my roommate and I bought our condo over a year ago and my mother still hadn't seen it. I decided that yesterday was as good a time as any, so I went down to the burbs, picked her up, and brought her back to the big city. She helped me fold laundry, provided companionship, and finally met my roommate face-to-face. It was a surprisingly good experience. She wasn't her normal jittery-self - she actually behaved quite normally. It was a pleasant surprise.
I think it's my involvement in the program that's allowed me to try and better our relationship. Up until very recently I've been hesitant to try to grow our relationship. I'm still going to be cautious, because I am worried what may become of her dependency on me, but I'm willing to give it a try.
Posted by SparklesMpls at 12:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 26, 2004
These polls are scary
I've heard tons of stuff in the news about the polls lately. This site tends to be fairly non-biased and shows a nifty pictorial of the country and how it's voting. It's amazing to me how many people can vote for W.
Click on the image for a larger version.
I was talking to a buddy the other day after the debates and we concluded that the people who vote for W are one or both of the following:
a. dumb
b. ignorant
Wise-up folks - another 4 years of W would NOT be a good thing.
Posted by SparklesMpls at 10:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 25, 2004
Unfulfilled
I know, I know, I haven't been keeping up on my blogging. I really have no excuse other than I've been working a lot lately. We're finishing up a big project at work this week, so hopefully after that life will return to a somewhat sane pace.
I've witnessed more crack deals this week than rainy days. This one lady was all dressed up in mink and fancy shoes with a Louis Vitton handbag asking the local dealers for some smack. Sad as it was, it was still sorta funny.
With very little 'me' time lately I've felt sort of empty. Unfulfilled. A sort of lack of purpose in life. Perhaps this is exactly what I need right now - regularity. I'll keep plugging along for now :-)
A friend celebrated 31 years of sobriety yesterday. Amazing, really. He's offered me some very good advice - I feel fortunate to have friends like him.
Nothing else really new. I haven't done laundry in a few weeks so I've resorted to buying new clothes. "Mount Sparkles" as I refer to it, has expanded beyond my closet. If anyone has some spare time, I've got some service work you could do :-)
Posted by SparklesMpls at 12:18 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Sarcastic advertising?
I was just on my way home this evening and I drove by Milios, formerly Big Mikes Super Subs, at Lake and Lyndale. They have a billboard above their building that changes out on roughly a monthly basis. Anyhow, their new add has a 30-something year old guy smiling at you, with a large headline that reads:
Cosmetic care, as authentic as you.
Am I reading into this too much, or is this a crack at the very same group of people they're trying to acquire as customers? The ad was promoting Abbot Northwestern Hospital. I think they need a new agency.
Posted by SparklesMpls at 12:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 18, 2004
Finally
I finished my 4th step. It only took me about 2 months. Phew.
Posted by SparklesMpls at 12:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Phew
I finished my 5th, 6th and 7th step on Saturday. It only took 4 hours. I guess some steps are more involved than others. Been whining lately about not having enough 'me' time. Maybe not outwardly, but I've definately had that mindset. Then it occurred to me - maybe I'm not supposed to have that much 'me' time - afterall, that's part of what lead me to treatment. I'm just going to concentrate on being grateful today.
Posted by SparklesMpls at 12:19 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 11, 2004
Spiritually drained
Minnesober is finally over with. I'll post more photos as soon as I have some time to grab them off of my camera. It was a good experience. Attendance was record-high and we got lot-so-kudos on the food. When I wasn't running around trying to help things run smoothly I had the opportunity to attend a few workshops and listen to the speakers. It was a really great experience overall and I got to meet some cool new people.
The food prep area
One of the dishes
I feel like this huge responsibility has been removed from me ... perhaps that's because it has. Now I've got to get back to some of the real-life chores I've been neglecting - like cleaning the house, paying bills, etc. Also have to finish up my 4th step. My sponsor insists that it's complete by Saturday, and I've dragged it out so long that I've had time to add new resentments that I now have to go back and revise the previously-completed parts of the step! Also need to get in touch with my parents. They've been making several trips out of town, and I've been busy with life - I think we miss each other.
Otherwise, fall is actually here now - there's no denying the cold nights and overcast days any longer. The leaves are changing and there's no going back. It's really sort of a bummer, well I suppose it always is... but winter can be fun too. Scary at the same time, though, as winter generally brings less-happy times for me. SAD is such an awful things - maybe I should look into investing in those happy lights!
Posted by SparklesMpls at 12:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 04, 2004
Where'd the weekend go?
Once again I found myself starting my weekend laundry at 10:00pm on Sunday night. At least I got it started this weekend - that's a first for the past four weeks.
I spent a majority of my weekend assembling IKEA furniture for a friend's new sober home.
I've been planning to open one of my own for quite some time, just waiting for the finances to fall in line right now. I'm really excited at the opportunity of helping other people out with their sobriety by providing a safe place for them to live after treatment. I think it'll be beneficial for their program, as well as my own.
A good friend of mine lost his job this weekend. Having just gone through it myself I feel sympathetic. It's not a fun thing to have to go through. I was able to get through it pretty well, which I'm sure is because of the help I've gotton through AA. I hope that my buddy is able to do the same.
I went to both a spaghetti dinner AND a pancake breakfast at a local church this weekend. It took me back to the times in my youth when I volunteered for similiar events held by my church at the local VFW. I felt so proud to be able to bus dishes, refill coffees, and go back and forth between the kitchen and dining areas. It was fun to help out even if I didn't get paid. Thinking about it now, I was probably more proud than anything at the time - I felt important. Now it's nice to do those things because you're helping people - it's great to be given the opportunity to help others... much more rewarding than I'd ever thought it was prior to entering the program. I also attended the last planning meeting for the upcoming Minnesober event - if you're planning on going, please register! Check out the website for information on the event.
Posted by SparklesMpls at 12:22 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
